Burger King Delivers A Whopper Of A Traffic Jam

Chaparral Motorsports
|
May 16, 2019

Are you a motorcycle rider? Is your dream to get paid for riding your motorcycle? Well, it looks like Burger King just might have answered your prayers.

I am not totally sure if this is a belated April Fool's joke (I hope so, and it seems like something Burger King would do) but multiple media outlets have reported on this story so I figured what the hell, let's have some fun.   

It appears as though BK wants to turn the infuriating act of sitting in your car screaming profanities at the traffic gods into a whopping good time by giving you the ability to stuff your face with one of their delicious Whoppers. After a trial period in Mexico City, Burger King will be bringing with their "Traffic Jam Whopper" delivery service to Los Angeles as well as a few international cities known for their horrendous traffic jams.

In a nut shell the way the deal works is you'll download the Burger King app and then if you happen to be sitting in heavy traffic within the proximity of a Burger King offering the service (about a 2 mile radius) you'll get notified through a banner ad or a digital billboard that the service is available to you. Then using voice commands, you can place your order for a Whopper meal (burger, fries, and either bottled water or bottles soda) and continue making your way through traffic--now with the happy knowledge that a tasty burger is about to be dropped in your lap.

Once your order is ready a delivery rider will hop on their motorcycle and with the help of real time data and GPS tracking (don't worry, every corporation already knows everything about you and your location at all times) they'll zip through traffic to drop off your meal.  You will get notified through billboards and popup notifications when your order is about to arrive so that you can keep an eye out for the delivery rider.

The service is offered in areas that allow lane splitting/sharing. So if you ride a motorcycle and live in the Los Angeles, particularly near areas that are regularly heavily congested with traffic, you could probably earn some extra cash doing the King's dirty work. I am sure they'll be looking for delivery riders. Hopefully you won't have to wear that creepy King's mask over your motorcycle helmet when you're gigging for them.

While this is an interesting concept and funny marketing idea, I do see a couple inherent problems. First off, after decades of being a grey area, we finally got some formal direction in regards to lane splitting in California with the passage of AB 51. Now Burger King wants to muck it up with delivery riders slinging Whoppers into the gaping maw of drivers? The point of lane splitting is so that motorcycle riders can filter between lanes of vehicles. Now there's going to be some person on a motorcycle suddenly stopping while splitting lanes to make sure they chuck a Whopper into the window of the correct white Toyota Prius? And what if the delivery rider accidentally passes the vehicle? You know they'll be at least a handful of riders that will just stop and wait for the car to catch up. This will not only infuriate other drivers and riders but is totally opposite of what lane splitting is meant for.

Secondly, we already know that texting /talking on the phone, or doing anything other than paying attention to your vehicle and the road is extremely dangerous. But yet BK is going to encourage you to eat while driving? Have you ever had a Whopper? As tasty as they may be, between the ketchup, mayo, pickles, and lettuce having some kind of polar opposite reaction to the buns, I have a hell of a time keeping the burger in line without all the guts sliding out. How are you going to drive and keep the damn thing together?

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